How to Speak to Aging Parents About Their future

Speaking to aging parents about their future, is certainly a conversation about mortality, and that is not an easy conversation to undertake at any age. The top 7 things to think when speaking to an elderly someone about their future are

1. What should happen in the event the someone cannot make decisions about their own life? Do they want to be kept on life support? Who is in charge of making the decision to end life sustaining equipment? Somebody must assume the power of attorney. This decision should be made while the someone is of sound mind, and hopefully left to somebody who is also of sound mind. Put the decision in writing, and have it notarized.

2. Is there a will? Who is the designated executor of the will. This is distinct from who is the beneficiary of the will. The executor of the will is the someone who is in charge of distributing the assets of the will, and assures that assets are distributed legally correct.

3. What are the financial resources ready to care for the future of an aging person? This will determine housing and healing options in the event, the parent needs assisted living care. Medicare benefits need to be considered. Veterans programs and entitlements need to be evaluated. How much money does the parent have to make it through their life? If there are inadequate resources, what arrangements will be made. If there is abundance of money and ready resources, would a living trust make sense, so that money can be left to heirs? A living trust can be beneficial, so that resources can be distributed to heirs without being wiped out by healing costs.

4. Where does the someone want to be buried? Do they want to be buried or would they prefer cremation? What does the someone want to have happen to their remains? Having recently had this conversation with my Dad, I can tell you this is not an easy conversation.

5. Does the someone want to have an autopsy? Do they want to donate portions of their body to science?

6. Where is all the requisite paperwork? Where is the will? Financial papers? requisite documents?

7. What are the healing resources available? Who is the former care physician? extensive in planning the future of aging parents, know the ready resources, and know where prominent papers are kept. Understand who should be contacted in an emergency. Getting as much facts in writing will preclude problems down the road, in the event the parent is unable to care for themselves.

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